Sleep Soothes

I just read an article worth sharing in Science Daily:

Dreaming Takes the Sting out of Painful Memories

The article illustrates the benefits of dreaming in people with post-traumatic stress. It explains how dreaming allows a person to reexperience a stressful event without the interference of stress neurochemicals. This effect takes the edge off trauma, and we wake up better able to cope.

I love that there is now science to prove how very important sleep is to caregivers and others who experience PTSD.  Happy snoozing and sweet dreams!

The Psychological Crib

Yesterday, a side to our story was told in an article in the New York Times, that is expressed in my book, but in a different way. (http://www.nytimes.com/2012/01/10/health/when-injuries-to-the-brain-tear-at-hearts.html).

With a scientific slant, the article exposed the challenges psychologists face when counseling couples with marriage problems after one person has changed drastically following a devastating injury. 

After a brain injury, roles flip. The caregiver usually becomes a “guardian” rather than a partner, at least for some period of time after the injury. The injured person is suddenly thrust into a world where he (or she) is not only physically limited, but placed in a psychological crib, and constantly reminded that he can no longer do the things he once did with ease—eat, walk, drive a car or climb stairs alone. And then he's told he no longer makes sense, he doesn't remember, and he's confabulating (creating false memories). It’s easy for couples to become locked in disagreements or to feel resentful of each other. It’s suddenly hard work to get along—hard not to miss the easy relationship that once felt so comfortable. As the injured person heals, the caregiver must pull back, stop hovering, and allow the injured person to take chances in a world that suddenly feels like a dangerous place.

It’s not only the injured person that changes in an accident—quite often, the caregiver changes. Sleeplessness, anxiety, frustration, and fear can alter a personality and strain relationships in the process.

All of this was conveyed in the Times article. Counseling is helpful, but what tools can counselors use to help couples going though this? For us, communication was important. Constantly putting ourselves in each other’s shoes helped. We had to remind each other that we were in this together, we both wanted to stay married, we both wanted to reach a connecting point, a place of mutual respect, understanding, and love. I’m so glad we did.

Hugh and I are more tightly bound now than ever before, and even though letting down the guardrail of the psychological crib (or as my husband would call it: stopping the nagging) caused a good deal of anxiety as I watched him conquer feat after feat, anxiety can be overcome, but the loss of a soul mate, never.

Starting off with a Bang

It's January 9th already! I had a great time talking to the many people who showed up at the VCU Larrick Center to speak to our senators and delegates about preserving funds for brain injury services and many other much needed mental health services. I hope these funds stay in place.

I'm starting the new year off with a renewed mission: to sell my book and continue spreading the word about how important immediate and ongoing treatment is for brain injury patients and their families. Ongoing quality rehabilitation is the best way to optimize each person's healing potential. Some will return to work. Many will formulate a fulfilling life plan. Support and treatment is crucial in the early months of a brain injury, and the more the public is aware of the consequences of brain injury, the more people will understand how treatment can lead to productive lives and cohesive, stable families.

Remember, a brain injury can happen to anyone, at any time. We are all vulnerable. A slip on the sidewalk, a knock on the head in a football game, an injury from a fall or a car accident, or a sudden stroke can change the rest of your life. I was recently asked, "Aren't you tired of talking about this subject?"

The answer I gave was a resounding, "No." It's an important subject with an evolving science. Big strides have been made in saving people with brain injuries. Now it's time to make sure those people rehabilitate to a life worth living after being saved.