Behavior and Brain Injury, (it's not always about the brain injury)

As a kid, we often don't want to go to school, but we have to. As an adult, we often want to attend classes and seminars, but we don't have the funds or the time.

As a participant on a panel at the Virginia Department of Rehabilitative Services, where we discussed "How we Coped" with other caregivers, I was invited to stay at this full day conference bursting with information and speaking talent.

I was lucky enough to hear a talk by the inspiring Dr. Harvey E. Jacobs. The title of his talk was: "Brain Injury and Challenging Behaviors," but the content extended out to the family, community, world, ecosystem, and galaxy! His use of an animal slideshow at the end with a series of poignant questions places every human on earth flatly on a level playing field as he peels away the layers of what makes us all essentially human.
"Where do you live?" he asks. "Who are your people?"
"Do you live alone?"
"What do you eat?"

By the end of this slideshow, everyone in the room is moved to tears because he's demonstrated, through a simple series of questions and pictures, that no matter what behaviors anyone exhibits, no matter how different or dysfunctional someone may seem, we are all far more alike than different. We all require the same needs: a home, someone to love and love in return, and something to do. And when we act out, we are often reacting to our environment, our insecurity, or the fact that others have decided to take control of us "for our own good."

Thank you Dr. Jacobs for a lesson I hope to remember always.

April

April is an ambiguous month for me, filled with many emotional highs and lows. April 10^th is Anna and Mary’s birthday—one of the best days of my life, the day my two beautiful daughters were born! But on April, 11, 2007, my father passed away, and I miss him every day. A few days later, it all culminates with the anniversary of April 13^th 2002, the day that changed my life forever, the day I answered the phone in my kitchen and heard that Hugh was rushed to the hospital.

At the time, I had no idea our lives would be so incredibly altered, but looking back, 3:00 p.m. on April 13, 2002 began a whole new trajectory for me and my family. What seemed to be a regular day suddenly became a turning point.

The older I grow, the more events will be tucked into April’s calendar—new babies will be born, (Betty’s daughter, Katie, just had a baby boy named Jack yesterday!) and there will be weddings, funerals, engagements, and events we can’t begin to imagine. Both of my girls will be home tomorrow, and they will plant me a vegetable garden for my birthday (It was in March, but we waited to be together to celebrate) I can't think of a better gift than a spring garden full of promise. What do I wish for? Just this: the family in the yard, the sun shining, simple food, the sound of the voices I love to hear and their laughter--just an ordinary day.

Life is unpredictable, and full of wonder.  If I’ve learned one thing, it is to try to simply bend with the twists and turns life takes me on, to lean into the wind, and let it carry me along, because I know that even though there will be dark days, there will be an equal measure of light, if I only keep my eyes open.