Carefree

When I was a full-time caregiver, I wondered:
What must it be like to have an uninterrupted life?
What must it be like to have everyday worries that don't involve life and death?
What must it be like to feel carefree?
Of course I knew the answers, because most of my life had been that way--full of fun, relatively stress-free. I had a charmed life. Until my husband was run over by a car, and my father started acting strange (dementia) and my mother was told she was dying.

I now know what I didn't know before--that we all have freeze-framed times in our lives. Some last just a moment. Others freeze for years while life on the "outside" plays itself out. I remained in my frozen bubble for sometime, but in 2010, it melted, and I came back outside to join the parade. And yet, as I join in the daily run around of every day, I am now acutely aware of those that are locked in their freeze framed airless time zones...my neighbor, who had a stroke at age 34 and still cannot walk or talk on his own.  The people I have met who have endured injuries and illnesses far worse than I could ever imagine.

Can you ever truly forget once you have been touched by deep sorrow and loss?
Is there ever such a thing as feeling carefree again?
Maybe not, but there is peace. And there is great joy in helping those you know who have entered the dark place where you had once been.

Helping heals.