Book Buzz

It's getting near the time when I will realize a lifelong dream. I will have written and published a book. I will hold it in my hands. I will see others reading my story.

This is satisfying, exhilarating and frightening beyond belief. Every word of this book is my version of the truth. I have exposed my thought process, my fears, and my neurosis. I've placed my family on a glass slide for everyone to examine. They have cheerfully allowed me to do this, trusting all will go well.

Why would I do this? I've asked myself this many times. So here are the reasons I have for publishing a memoir about the most difficult experience of my life:

1. From the day of the accident until years later, I was so overcome with things that needed doing while at the same time overcome with emotion, that I could not organize my thoughts enough to make sense of them. Writing was my way of telling the story without holding someone hostage while I talked for weeks on end.

2. From the day of the accident until about two years out, I lost myself. I was not the same woman. I could not find myself in the mirror, in my heart, or in my mind. I was full of self-talk that alternated between panic and words meant to calm myself down: Oh My God, he can't focus his eyes. He can't talk to me! Calm down, Rosemary, he'll get better. Smile at the girls, don't let them see you freaking out!

3. "We're fine," became my two word response to the world when asked how things were going. How else could I answer? It soon became clear that no one knew anything about brain injury and what was going on in my house. If it happened in my house, it must be happening in most houses where brain injury occurs. So the book is that glimpse behind the front door, into the living room that has become a quiet room, into the bedroom that has become a hospital room, into the home that has become another place entirely.

4. I wrote this book as a tribute to those with brain injury, who struggle daily to find themselves, to wake up from an exhaustion so bone deep they want to sleep forever, who wonder who they used to be, and who simply want to get back to life. I wrote it as a tribute to caregivers who rearrange their lives for their loved ones, hoping beyond hope that their life will someday resemble normal again, hoping they can calm the trembling of their own heart so they can endure the marathon caregiving required of brain injury.

The interior book design is complete. I'm in the process of proofreading before we begin work on the beautiful cover design. The cover picture was taken by my friend Nancy Tomlinson at the beach and the cover is being designed by my sister, Pat Waters. This is a totally homegrown project. I can hardly wait to launch! I'll keep you posted.