What is
end-of-life planning? What is a
death panel? We live in an age where words matter. Speeches and videos go viral on the Internet and cable news. Headlines shaped by manipulating parties are designed to create vivid pictures in people’s minds to cause a reaction. It's nauseating how predictably people comply.
End-of-Life planning suggests that our lives will end. Not exactly news.
Death panel suggests a firing squad (Nevermind Al Quaida, your government wants to "pull the plug on Grandma"). I’ve come to believe that humans have the strongest survival instinct on the planet. Even while we knowingly pollute our land and water, supersize our meals, and consume toxic substances on a daily basis, we think we will live forever.
Sorry folks.
For those of us who have helplessly watched an older relative or friend suffer from a chronic disease and waste away in the hospital, poked with needles and fed with tubes, another possibility exists. The possibility that we might avoid agonizing hours on a ventilator watching family members cry at our bedside. We will still get old and sick, but we will choose comfort over intervention, nature over machinery. We’ll opt for pain management versus another invasive "cure." We’ll accept. There is no cure for death.
No one is saying everyone needs to sign a living will. But everyone certainly has the right to know they exist, and to understand how it might impact a family at the most crucial decision-making moment in their lives. Whether you sign it or opt out, there is relief. Knowing the facts and making a fully-informed decision takes the burden off a family that may have to guess your wishes in the future.
End-of-life planning is what grown-ups do. They plan for themselves, and they plan for their children. Why should anyone
but the patient decide what treatment plan to deliver when disaster strikes? A grown-up makes that decision him or herself, in advance, with counseling.
The phrase
death panel was specifically designed to incite fear and demonize people in government. The problem is: it was spoken by a woman who makes her living working in government.
We drastically compromise our future by our own inability to understand and act upon anything longer than a sensational headline.
End-of-life planning used to sound like a reasonable phrase. Lately, it has been dished up with side orders of horrific intentions meant to misinterpret its meaning. So let’s acknowledge that words matter and change them to suit the activity. How about
comfort planning or the
family directive. Personally, I like the phrase “living will.” Let's go back to that. It suggests consideration and intent, that the living
will make their intentions clear!
As far as the label
death panel goes, it doesn’t deserve another label—it doesn’t exist.
Dr. Norris, our family dentist and friend, stopped by with cupcakes yesterday-big moist, delectable cupcakes. Yes, I did say he's a dentist, and a very talented one, but his true strength lies in his keen intuition about people. He genuinly cares about, and engages with his patients on a level I've never experienced before. Crammed in the little corner between the wall and the tiny bistro table, he drank tea and told Mom a few touching tales. One story involved a little patient he treats who would cry his head off during every visit. He told the boy they had to be a team to take care of his teeth. He said "Okay, I won't do anything you don't want me to do, but YOU call me if you get a toothache, not your mother. And when you want my help, I'll be here." 
