A Party in the Storm

After planning my book launch and rearranging my house for the event: wine bar in the kitchen, book signing nook by the big back window, my office cleared of all my own books, and every shelf lined with brand new "Learning by Accident" paperbacks artfully arranged with photos of family and friends, a hurricane hit--not the day before, and not the day after, those two days were picture perfect. Irene, as the hurricane was named, hit the exact day of my book launch with the peak of the storm scheduled to arrive at 8:00 p.m., the appointed hour of the toast. Hugh and I talked a long time about where to hold the event.  Our own home finally made the most sense. Our home is the setting for most of the story, and nearly every person invited to the party is a "character" in the book. We picked the date because it was the only one available after a few publishing snafus, and we didn't want to go past Labor Day. Both of our daughters, Anna and Mary, had travel arrangements set, and took time off from work to attend. Terry, from Vermont had a flight scheduled, as did my brother John, and his family from Atlanta. My sister, Mary (she's Kate in the book) and her daughter Meg were visiting from Albany, New York. So, when the storm took a turn for the worse, we really had no choice but to go ahead with the party, and we did. We served drinks and desserts: 250 mini cupcakes, lemon cookies, assorted cheeses, fruits and nuts, dessert wines, and beer. All day my phone buzzed with text messages saying, "Sorry, we won't be able to make it in the storm." Every time Hugh walked by me, he wrapped me in a consolation hug. But Anna, Mary, and their cousin, Meg, were stoked. Meg hoped out loud that the lights would go out and we'd have to party by candlelight. When I said I was disappointed, Mary said, "Mom it will be great!" and Anna said, "Didn't you learn anything from that book you wrote? You can't control the weather. Just have fun." And so it appears the universe is not done teaching me. I had my little meltdown, but the party turned out to be a success. Twenty-five brave souls turned out to celebrate with us. At eight o'clock, Hugh made his toast to me on our staircase, and our daughters followed up the toast with these words: While everyone has to end on page 304, we're lucky to have been able to see beyond the back cover and to watch you embrace this new strength and follow your dreams." Shortly after the toast, the lights went out, but the party went on, and everyone glowed in candlelight.Cheers!

Megan, Mary, Sherita, Anna

First Book Signing on the Calendar!

Here's a link to my first book signing event in early September. This will kick off a series
of exciting events I have planned in Virginia through September, and something tells me that sitting in a bookstore and signing my own book will be unlike any feeling I've ever had before.

I'd love to see you there! Consider yourself invited! Here's a link to the event:

http://store-locator.barnesandnoble.com/event/3108819

Learning by Accident is Officially Published!

Click Here to order:  www.outskirtspress.com/learningbyaccident

At long last, my book is on sale! What a feeling!
Learning by Accident is available for sale at barnesandnoble.com, Amazon, and in Kindle form.

I'm now busy working on announcements and booking signing events, as I hold my breath to see how the book will be received by the larger public. I often call myself a storyteller rather than a writer. I don't have an MFA, and I have not dedicated my whole life to writing, yet writing is a part of my daily joy. Any writing: a poem, essay, email, greeting card, Facebook post or note to a friend--each one is equally as gratifying and meaningful to me.

And I believe that if I demonstrate any talent at all as a writer, it is because I have read so many wonderful books by incredible authors. There is an abundance of jaw-dropping talent in the form of the written word. I'm just so happy to be a small drop in the ocean of the writing world. Here I go...

Paying it Forward

In recognition of my loving family and wonderful friends who helped me when I was in need, I am donating 5% of the first year’s profits of Learning by Accident to my neighbor and friend, Dan Duggins. Dan suffered a severe stroke that left him locked in, unable to move or speak, but alert and vibrant inside with no way out. For over a year now, Dan has only been able to communicate with his eyes. His parents have selflessly tended to his every need. Before his stroke, Dan was the drummer for three bands: Hot Rod Circuit, Queen Killing Kings, and Zigmat. He is a handsome and talented rock star who is fighting to regain his active life in music.

It is my sincere hope that this donation will provide the means for Dan to continue his rehabilitation since he had no insurance when he was struck by this devastating brain injury. You can learn more about how to help Dan at the Dan Duggins Trust on Facebook. If you do not have the means to donate financially, your positive thoughts and prayers are equally as meaningful and much appreciated.

Newsflash!

The cover of Learning by Accident is done!

Many thanks to Nancy Tomlinson for taking the picture of me and Hugh at S-Turns in the Outer Banks, and many thanks for the hours of work my sister, Pat, dedicated to create a print-ready cover. This has truly been a homegrown project and I couldn't be more delighted.

The book will move into the production phase now, so in four to six weeks it should be available for purchase from me, in stores, or online at Amazon and Barnes & Noble.com. Learning by Accident will also be available in ebook and Kindle forms.

Stay tuned! We'll be planning a book launch soon, and thank you for hanging in there for the long wait!

--

What does Caring and Giving Mean?

To me, the words "caring and giving" are not only the building blocks of the word and act of caregiving, but they represent the meaning of our lives.

We spend our highest and lowest moments with those we care most deeply about, and when we give back to them, we grow. In its simplest form, caring is transformational. A reassuring smile from a loved one when you're afraid, or a hand squeeze when you feel pain, can make you feel like you can endure anything.

Caring and giving equal kindness.  And in the slideshow we review again and again in our minds, all throughout our lives, it is kindness that reassures and calms us, because it represents the very core of our best selves.

Questions We Ask Ourselves

Often, we look at things only one way. I’m guilty of this. 

When a caregiving situation becomes a challenge, I might ask myself, "Why can't things ever go right for a change?" When I fall into this self-pity pit, I shift my thinking; there are other questions I ask myself to ease my frustration.

If you are stuck in sadness or bitterness, try asking yourself these questions:

"How else could I respond to this experience? What small action can I take right now to make things a little bit better?  How have others handled my problem? What can I learn from them? What would I say to someone in my situation if I wanted to help him or her?"

The answer to this last question sometimes solves the dilemma all by itself.

Making negative sweeping statements to ourselves is damaging on so many levels. Statements like: "I'll never be able to do this," or "This will never end," entrench us in a mucky pond of misery. Once we accept that we are being swiftly carried in the current of a dynamic life, we know we'll glide over the jagged rocks and once again bask in a pool of calm, silvery water, so we'll hang in there for the ride, no matter how unsettling the journey, because the good times make the bad times worth it.